Our Southeast Asian Adventure
Before stepping foot in Southeast Asia we were a little nervous. We didn’t know what to expect as we had never traveled to that part of the world before. Europe is familiar, and close. But Asia, Asia is far. Further than either of us had ever been before. What were we in for? Would language be a challenge? Would we be able to communicate and get around as easily as we did in Europe? Can we deal with the heat, climate, and terrain?
We were in for the time of our lives.
Full of rich culture, storied history, vibrant diversity, wonderful food, amazing people and the most beautiful landscapes, Southeast Asia really did have it all (except cold weather). Here are some of our reflections from our 9 month adventure through Southeast Asia.
We have written this before, but it begs repeating. While everything in Europe seemed to work really well (transit, tourism, necessities) everything we experienced in our travels through SE Asia just worked. It wasn’t always pretty or perfect, or even make sense to us sometimes, but it worked. Why mess with things that have worked not just for years or decades but centuries.
Where Europe affirmed many of our values and centered us on what we cared about most; Asia challenged, evolved, and reshaped our values by allowing us to see life from a different perspective. Asia was the place we learned to strip away the quest for “perfection” in favor of an imperfect, perfect lifestyle. It was in short, the most transformational experience we have ever had.
We learned to be more flexible.
One of us was more flexible than the other when we set out, but we have both learned the power and benefit of flexibility in new and important ways. This has so many applications and truly embodies what our travels through Asia were like, and has become a core mantra of ours.
Flexibility with our expectations and mentality. It was in embracing flexibility with our expectations and adjusting our mentality that we were able to really embrace this new (to us) world. You can’t travel through Asia with the same mentality you have in Europe. You will be disappointed and miss so much. You have to go in with an open mind and heart and let the rest dictate your experience.
Flexibility with our needs. When we left Europe, we left an entire 60L bag behind (our visiting family took it home). What we were left with was a 40L pack and 30L backpack each. 70L was all the space to carry what we would need for 9 months of travel. We had to learn to be flexible with our needs, and learn to live with less. This was by no means in a bad or deprived way. We now embody the less is more mantra because it’s simple and uncomplicated. It allows you to focus so much more on the things that matter. To quote one of our favorite books/movies “You’re not your fucking khakis.” We got used to mixing and matching the same clothes, and being creative with the kitchen utensils we did have (since it changed drastically from place to place). No cheese grater, fine. No cutting board, we’ll make do. Sometimes you just have to be flexible. The benefit of this is it has led us to constantly analyze and challenge our own (old) way, in favor of new (and maybe better) ways of doing things. Too often people fall into habits and then never question why they do something the way they do it that way ever again. By constantly changing our environment we constantly evaluated why we did anything a certain way and whether there was a better way.
Flexibility with our itinerary (when we need or want to). It is worth noting that the way we traveled through Asia was significantly different from how we traveled through Europe. When in Europe we roughly had everything mapped (and largely booked) before we left. We had very little planned when we set out to Asia, other than a rough idea of the order of the countries we wanted to go in. We had not booked accommodations or travel within or to each country at all, and we were only planning roughly 2 weeks at a time. This was new for us, as one of us was very used to having maps and plans for trips weeks and sometimes months in advance and the other largely stayed out of the minute trip planning. So we met in the middle. We both got more comfortable with travel planning in different ways, one got way more ok with booking things “last minute” and the other took a more active role in the more minute details. In embracing this flexibility we were rewarded with some of our favorite travel memories, that wouldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t been flexible with our itinerary.
We didn’t know what Langkawi was when we set out but with some research we found one of the most hidden gem beach locations we have ever visited.
We weren’t even sure if we were going to go to Laos, and it wound up being one of our favorite spots of the whole trip.
We weren’t going to go to Cambodia before Ma and Pa came for a visit, but decided to squeeze in a quick trip to Siem Reap for Angkor Wat since we were in the neighborhood (and we were so glad we did as it truly is a marvelous experience).
We became comfortable enough with our planning that we started intentionally leaving holes in our itinerary or would only plan a few weeks in advance so that we could pivot if we needed to, or if we just felt like it. And we never once had to sleep on a park bench because of it.
We learned as we went along.
We didn’t go into Asia fully prepared, but instead had open minds and a loose plan that we adjusted and learned from as we went. A common theme of our travels has been how we have been able to learn from each location and how each of our experiences has layered a new level of preparedness and understanding on our future travels. This trip was about learning and that’s just what we did. The order we moved through Asia was perfect for us because it allowed us to build our knowledge and comfort with such a foreign (to us) place as we moved along, so that each place felt more comfortable and familiar than the last, despite each place seemingly getting “harder”. We focused on reflecting on each place as we were there and long after we left so we could continue to learn from our successes, failures, experiences, and everything in between. We did this by:
Slowing Down: As Americans, Asia seems FAR away. If you have 15 vacation days a year and it takes 2 to get here. It doesn’t seem worth it. And we can honestly say, if you are going to come all this way, you damn well better plan for more than 10 days here. Asia is not a place you should plan to do in a week or two. In Europe you can jump from country to country relatively easily (though we still don’t recommend that), but you can’t treat this region like that. Each country has different entry requirements, stipulations, and unique challenges to navigate. We were glad we gave it the time it deserved. By slowing down, we were rewarded with a calm, laid back life that wasn’t driven by tours, travel schedules, and always needing to be somewhere, but was instead driven by things like the tides and sunset.
Looking around: So much of what you can and will learn in traveling doesn't come only from asking questions, it comes from sitting back and observing. Not just seeing, but understanding why things are the way they are. You might see parts of Asia and notice the poverty or trash or “strange” ways people do things. Then you actually take a look around, and you might understand why things are the way they are. We can’t judge what people’s lives are based on our own standards but must look around and understand the circumstances and results of the many differences. People can have vastly different looking lives on the surface, but what we saw when we looked around was happiness and contentment. People who were always so kind, welcoming and rich in much more meaningful ways than just money.
Challenges are just opportunities to learn: Asia was a challenge. There were things that were “different” from our western culture that we had to learn and adapt to. And while that might have been uncomfortable at first, we did, and it was worth it.
Water in SE Asia is non potable, so we got very used to our daily or weekly water hauls. This looked different in every place but was a fact of life we just had to live with, as Houstonians live with traffic. We would take the water challenge over Houston traffic any day. Shoutout to Ryan who was the primary water carrier and perfected his farmers walk with 10L water jugs.
Being flexible with your wardrobe. Whether it’s Islam practicing Malaysia or any of the hundreds of buddhist temples we visited, you have to be flexible with your wardrobe, even if it’s hot. Viv wouldn’t go anywhere without something to cover her shoulders and we almost always had spare pants in our bag just in case we wanted to pop into a temple. Even when it felt way too hot to wear another layer, we did because that’s just what you do.
Nobody wants to eat soup on a 40 degree C day (104 degree F). But when you are in the part of the world that makes the BEST soups of life, you embrace the challenge and learn to embrace eating soup on a hot day. Worth every freaking spoonful.
Transportation was a whole new world in Asia. Another challenge and another chance to learn. Tuk tuk drivers would ask nonstop if you wanted a ride (particularly in Bangkok, but really everywhere). We started saying we were “running the gauntlet” in the morning to get to the train because it was a line of 3 dozen tuk tuk drivers and EVERY one would ask if you wanted a ride. Even if they saw you tell the previous 5 people no. Also, some places had very limited or antiquated public transit. Even very developed cities like KL and Bangkok lacked some basic things on their transit systems (like a tap pay or card option). Singapore was the only exception as their public transit is second to NONE including ANYWHERE in Europe.
In many places haggling is the fact of life. We hate it. We are not hagglers and will gladly pay the tourist price or walk away. We are not here to tell someone what their goods and talents are worth. We had to embrace it a few times, and hated every minute, but it was a fact of life there and just what you do.
Sure, there are things that you just can’t find in Asia. Or things that are very cost prohibitive. Or things that you won’t have from apartment to apartment or town to town. So you just have to be flexible and find a way.
Of course none of these things are true challenges, just things that are different that you have to embrace.
Lessons to Carry Forward
Some rapid fire things about our time in Asia that we learned and want to take forward with us.
Asia has, hands down, the BEST food in the world. Food in Europe was fresh and great. Asia hit it out of the park. Flavorful. Fresh. And Cheap. There is nothing better than the vast variety of food you can get in Asia. And not just Asian food either. We had amazing cheeseburgers in Chiang Mai, Biscuits and gravy in Da Nang, legit Texas BBQ in KL. Ry was very happy to be in places that respect and use spice, spiciness and spices. We didn’t have to carry around a bottle of hot sauce everywhere ☺
We obviously stood out as foreigners. That was neither good or bad, but it was a bit challenging for us to explain that we were not regular travelers or tourists. Whereas most people we met in Europe understood the concept of extended travel, most people in Asia that we shared our story with could not fathom. Maybe they couldn’t fathom being away from their own beautiful country for that long. It was never a problem, which is why even through a language barrier we could make friends with the local cabana guys at the beach in Da Nang, or the security guards at our place in KL. We just couldn’t really explain that we would be there for a while.
Some of the nicest apartments we have ever stayed in were in Asia. Some of the most state of the art buildings and advanced technology we have seen in Asia. Yes, outside major cities some people still live in more culturally typical bamboo structures. Others live in rudimentary housing and extreme poverty. But that is anywhere. Not sure why some people have an image that all of Asia is some undeveloped frontier.
Take your shoes off when you enter a house. Many businesses in Asia also follow this practice, but at the very least ALWAYS take your shoes off in the house. If you have seen the streets we have seen ALL over the world, you would not want to track that shit (sometimes literally) inside your house. Make this standard operating procedure.
A call to prayer is a calming moment whether you are praying or not. Embrace the peace and use it as a moment to reflect. You don’t have to be practicing Islam to appreciate a call to prayer. We became quite comfortable in this regular ritual and could always embrace the moment for peace and reflection.
True kindness and welcoming. Hospitality that is genuine and friendly. Where Europeans leave you to enjoy your meal in peace, Asians will sit down and join you.
So why aren’t we moving here tomorrow? Anyone who knows us knows we are cold weather people at heart. And while we could pretend for 9 months that we weren’t, ultimately we are happiest when we can at least have cold weather on the horizon. Whether it’s camping in sub-zero temps or strolling snow powdered streets we are happiest there and can’t stay away from the cold for too long.